break down; through.

 

ARTIST STATEMENT: BREAK DOWN; THROUGH.

These select paintings are a result of an emotional breakdown after losing my best friend to suicide.
I intended to create something different all together, as a memorial to my best friend, but found myself growing increasingly agitated that I was unable to paint what I was envisioning.
Much like our experiences with loss, I was unable to control the outcome. In an emotional fury, I destroyed the original painting.
I came back to the piece later and felt an awakening. I began to experiment with the abstract, various textures, the movement of paint on the wood, and removal of paint.
The process itself became incredibly cathartic and therapeutic. These pieces are representations of the chaos of emotions I experienced as I grieved.
I want to hold onto the memories, but as time progresses, they become muddied and layered over. I claw at them, trying to remember, but it is futile.
Some moments will be lost to time forever.

What Once Was, 48″ x 48″ oil on birch wood

Fragmented, (4) 48″ x 12″ panels, oil on birch wood

The Keeper, 24″ x 20″ oil on birch wood

Wound, 24″ x 24″ oil on birch wood

Event Horizon, 36″ x 48″ oil on birch wood

Fog of Surrender, 32″ x 24″ oil on birch wood

Four Goodbyes, 48″ x 48″ oil on birch wood 

Interstitial, 24″ x 32″ oil on birch wood

Reflecting Pool, 24″ x 32″ oil on birch wood